I changed into another person when I was told I had cancer.

I changed into another person when I was told I had cancer. It was like someone had reached deep inside of my body and pulled out everything, everything that had made me who I was. They left nothing inside of me, except for the numb minimal consciousness that let me know I was somehow still alive. After several years I am still alive. I still suffer though from permanent radiation damage and deep psychological scars. The dreadful pain is a constant reminder that I am still alive. There is one thing I miss more than anything else from my pre-cancer days and that is the wonderful, now elusive, feeling of JOY!. Oh how I wish I could feel Joy again. This is Moongirl signing off.